snowgoose

I know everyone did these posts in December. I was waiting til now just in case the world ended and I had to chronicle that just before we all get obliterated by a giant chicken hurtling toward the earth, you see. Umm… ja.. whatever – that excuse isn’t gonna fly, is it?

So, before we get through yet another decade, I suppose I should review the last 10 years of my life. Here goes:

2000

I am in Standard 9 (grade 11) at Bryanston High School. I’m a bit of a nerd who is head of the drama club but also have an ‘after-hours’ life which involves clubbing with my older boyfriend – we’ve been together for 2 years. He summarily dumps me halfway through the year. Lovely. I have an amazing group of friends and we get up to all sorts of shenanigans together. A few of these people are still very close to me (like Kirsten, my honourary sister), but most have faded into history.

2001

Matric. I become a prefect and direct a play that cleans up at the inter-house drama competition, giving me a huge ego. The play gets entered into the WITS RAPS play festival, where it bombs spectacularly, bringing my ego down to size. I don’t study as much as I should but still manage to scrape 2 distinctions. My Mother’s best friend and her husband die in a plane crash, this affects me deeply as they were my ’second parents’.

2002

I start studying graphic design at The Design School in Pretoria. To this day I have no idea why I chose the Pretoria campus when the Joburg campus was less than 7km from my home. I’m glad I did though because I meet Tanya. We aren’t very good friends initially but I now count her as one of the people closest to me. I buy a car – It is a 1987 metallic powder blue Nissan Exa. It has the ‘flip up’ lights and eveything. It breaks down a lot. It uses more oil than petrol – but it is mine and that is all that counts. I also start working as a waitress at Browns of Rivonia, where I meet Guy. Neither Guy or I know yet but meeting him will change my life.

2003

Second year of college is mostly a drunken blur – I get decent marks and even a few distinctions (when I actually pitch for lectures) but I spend most of my time partying with my friends Elsabe & Jaime. We get up to a LOT of shit and go on road trips to the coast together. I develop a penchant for British men, especially Scots. It ends badly. No more Brits for me, I vow. I fall for another Brit, that ends badly too. I go to England to do a short Graphic Design internship – it puts me off British men for life. I thoroughly enjoy my job at Browns, we are like a family (a totally dysfunctional one). My car breaks down even more than the year before. I spend most of my meagre salary on motor oil and speeding fines.

2004

I attend the 21st birthday party of a friend of Guy’s, his name is Dave. I spend the party trying to make Guy believe I am the most beautiful woman in the world and he must fall hopelessly in love with me. My futile spading efforts are interrupted by a skinny, tall ginger – a good friend of Guy’s. I have no idea who he is but he irritates me so I leave (before I can embarrass myself more). Halfway through the year I decide to move out of home. ‘Adult life’ is loads of fun and even though 2 minute noodles form the majority of my diet, I am loving being independant. Guy is like my brother (we even fight like brother and sister) and his tall skinny ginger friend returns from Zambia and spends a lot of time irritating me on my couch. But we become great buddies and he is always there to laugh at me when I return from one of my disastrous dates. It takes me a while but I eventually realise that we are meant to be together and I con him into going out with me (tickets to the Currie Cup final will get you everywhere). I finish college and start crapping myself because I have to enter the ‘real world’ the next year.

2005

I find myself a ‘day job’ as a graphic designer/general cook & bottle wash at a small printing company. I still waitress at Browns at night so I can pay for the now HUGE monthly bills needed to keep my car going. I eventually decide I need to get myself into more debt and get myself a new car so I buy a low mileage Corsa Lite – the bubble. The tall skinny ginger and I move in together so that I don’t default on my rent (my knight in shining armour). We live in a mangy flat in Randburg that was built by retarded drunk Irish midgets (everything is skew and broken) and our furniture is as old, stained and brown as the carpets. But we are very happy. Browns offers me the position of ‘Marketing Manager’ which sounds terribly important, so I take it.

2006

We leave the flat (thankfully) and move into a tiny one bedroom cupboard. But it is in one of the fanciest complexes in Morningside so we feel very successful. The tall skinny ginger works very long hours at his IT job and I try to match his hours at Browns, working nights as a floor manager and days as a ‘Marketing Manager’, which means I do eveything. Toward the end of the year I cant take the restaurant life anymore and I land a job at a Big Fancy Blue Bank as a graphic designer in their web department. I know nothing about the web so I bluff my way through it.

2007

The lease on the tiny cupboard expires and we decide we are sick of paying other people’s rent. We buy a house which looked amazing the first time we saw it an a complete dog when we took ownership 3 months later. Oh well, it is ours. I am doing well at the bank under my boss & mentor Stephen, I learn to code and immerse myself in the fascinating world of the web. I meet Rozz who introduces me to this new trend called Social Media. I am instantly addicted.

2008

I carry on carving my niche at the bank, and decide that despite 3 years of studying, 2 years of work and a R100 000 student loan, I actually don’t want to be a designer, I want to be an Online Marketer. I attend a few online marketing conferences and land a job in the very department I am angling to work in at the bank, despite no Marketing qualifications or experience. My boss, Bellinda, takes a chance on me and she inspires me to make an even bigger success out of myself. I work very hard and play very little. I somehow manage to lose 15kg though. I also decide that I am sick of being blonde so I dye my hair Auburn. I start this blog and join a puzzling social network called ‘Twitter‘.

2009

I work my butt off at the bank but then decide that I want to work even harder, so I start looking for a job. I remember attending a conference hosted by another ginger, and since gingers have a penchant for changing my life for the better, I apply for a job as an Account Manager at his eMarketing Agency. Despite having no experience at any agency (starting to become a recurring theme) he takes a chance on me and gives me the job (which I can actually thank the JHB boss, Mary for, apparently ) I am helluva lucky and work under another amazing and dynamic boss in Mary and an awe-inspiring (if crazy) CEO. I meet 2 equally crazy women through that puzzling social network, Twitter, which I am now totally addicted to. After many years of only really having male friends, I find myself with a network of wonderful female friends in Kirst, Rozz, Tanya, Exmi & Shebee. I decide to celebrate my success by getting myself into even more debt and buying a new car - a Yaris with my very own cheesy personalised numberplate. I feel blessed. I fall even more in love with my tall skinny ginger as we celebrate 5 years together. I also meet a plethora of wonderful people and business contacts through Twitter and at 27Dinners.

I work myself into a stupor but towards the end of the year it starts to pay off. I get promoted to Senior eMarketing Producer. I rest on a short holiday and start mentally preparing myself for a crazy but potentially very very important year….

2010

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